Gloom

Another day begins as I set my covers aside. The kettle is set to boil as go about arranging my garb and putting breakfast items together.

Without warning, the lights go out. There is a sudden sensation of bone biting cold. I don’t put my mind to it but the chill soon gets me running for something warm.

My bath water is hot but the cold will not go away. Candle light, on the other hand,shrouds the morning in gloom.

The day’s cares must be honoured and I soon leave the house.

Physical darkness does bring a chill even though the elements spell warmth. Does this speak of a different kind of darkness too?

Everything outside may look warm, painting a picture of summer with sprawling lawns and luscious fruit trees, yet the reality of the inner man may be totally different; a hole so cold that inhabiting creatures huddle together, both for warmth and out of fear.

Every shadow warms the blood, not to bring relief, but to raise anxiety.

Could there be darkness in my heart today? What of yours?

They say it is as easy as saying, “Welcome into my heart, Jesus” but the reality of total surrender is different – at least to some.

I tell you, surrender is difficult when I’ve always had life arranged in my way – saying the occassional prayer but quite working things out the way I know.

It needs trust, more trust than I could muster by my own strength – yet I realise it is necessary.

I want to rid myself of this darkness, this gloom that rattles my bones and squeezes life from my heart.

I can’t do it if I will not trust. You won’t do too it if you will not trust.

I choose to take that journey of trust, and I will tell you where it takes me. Why not take it too and share with me your experience?

You, who has crossed the bridge, will you hold my hand? Will you let me know the real challenges you faced and those that still bother you?

I am sure of this one thing. Where there is light, warmth abounds. There is no fear from dancing shadows, and the heart is free to beat, do a jig, and be merry.

I am taking the challenge.

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